The Halo Effect
by Glass Shoe
Summary: There are no mistakes, only choices.


Title: The Halo Effect

seaQuest General Fiction

Rating: T

Spoilers: Through _Weapons of War_

Disclaimers: I don't own seaQuest and I'm not making any money. This story is purely for entertainment.

Summary: There are no mistakes, only choices.

Warnings: Blood, ELF. OOC? Maybe.

Archiving: Just ask first.

Notes: Okay, I've messed with this story enough. Time to turn it loose.

Flames will be ignored.

Enjoy the story.

_If I traded it all_

_If I gave it all away for one thing_

_Just for one thing_

_If I sorted it out_

_If I knew all about this one thing_

_Wouldn't that be something?_

Finger Eleven, _One Thing_

Lucas Wolenczak returned from shore leave missing his black UEO jacket and the last two fingers on his left hand.

His shuttle docked with the seaQuest shortly after midnight. When Lucas stepped through the launch bay doors onto the seawater-slick deck there was only one crewman on duty, posted behind the launch console. The crewman looked up from his work and saw it was Lucas. He gave the Ensign a tired but friendly smile.

Lucas smoothed his hair back from his forehead. It felt greasy. There was sweat on his palms. He wiped his right hand on his pant leg and tucked his left hand into his pocket to hide the bandage. His duffel bag was slung over his shoulder. He clutched the strap hard to stop his right hand from shaking and hoped that he looked more tired than nervous.

Lucas turned and walked towards the corridor as quickly as he dared. He was almost out of the launch bay before the crewman called out, "Ensign Wolenczak!" Lucas froze in the doorway and turned his head just enough to show that he was listening.

"The Captain wants to see you. He said to report to his quarters as soon as you've stowed your gear."

"Thanks," Lucas said, then added, as he remembered the crewman's name, "Dave." Lucas forced his lips into a small smile.

As the door shut behind him Lucas could hear Dave Tuttle opening a communication channel. "He's on his way, Captain."

This was how Lucas Wolenzcak began his last day aboard seaQuest.

Lucas Wolenczak arrived at the captain's door two minutes after leaving the shuttle bay. He'd ditched his duffel bag in a storage locker somewhere along the way.

As he knocked on the captain's door he suddenly became self-conscious. He was tired and dirty. He'd been wearing his uniform shirt for two days and he'd sweated through it yesterday…the day he lost his fingers.

Lost his fingers…it sounded funny. And he hadn't lost them. He knew exactly where they were. God, and had it really only been yesterday?

Lucas knew the shirt smelled sour but his hand was throbbing and he knew he wouldn't be able to change very quickly. He hadn't even stopped off at his quarters, afraid that if he stopped anywhere he wouldn't be able to get started again.

"Objects in motion tend to stay in motion. Objects at rest tend to stay at rest," Lucas whispered to himself. He was an object in motion. Simple physics. It was all just physics. Things were so much easier when you could reduce them to an equation or a simple rule.

Lucas Wolenzcak was supposed to be a genius. Right now he knew he'd be lucky just to remember which locker his duffel was in.

He had to knock several times before the captain called out, "Come in!"

Lucas stepped inside and found the captain engrossed in one of his old leather-bound books, probably something that Hudson considered light reading, almost certainly something that Lucas had ploughed through as an adolescent. When he saw it was Lucas, Hudson laid the thick volume down and removed his reading glasses.

Lucas clasped his hands behind his back, hiding his injury, and tried to stand very still, "You sent for me, Captain?"

"Yes, I've been working on a very special project and I could use your particular expertise, Ensign."

"What kind of project is it, Captain?"

"It involves the Donner 47 colony. Are you familiar with it?"

"Yes, sir, that's where I took shore leave."

"Sources report to me that in the last twenty-four hours their communications have increased almost five hundred percent. The colony is one of the closest to the Chaodai border, so you see my concern."

"Yes, sir."

"The strange part is that the standard lines of communication for voice, video and e-mail are being used, but only a fraction of the communication is being sent by actual living humans. The rest appears to be some sort of message-relay, as if they colony's communication array is being pirated."

"By who?"

"That's what I want you to find out. Their security managed to find the source and cut the transmission for now. Our equipment was able to pick up a portion of the transmission. See O'Neill for the file."

"I'll do what I can."

Hudson frowned, eyeing Lucas up and down. "Get cleaned up first and get some sleep. You look like hell."

Lucas looked down sheepishly. "Yes, Captain."

Lucas backed toward the door as Hudson picked up his book. Before Lucas could make his exit, the captain asked unexpectedly, "How was your vacation?"

Lucas blinked, taken off-guard. "Sir?"

"Shore-leave?"

"Oh, it was good." Lucas told him, adding, "I think I had one too many late nights, though."

"Was it worth it?"

Lucas's heart was in his throat. Did the captain know something, or was it an innocent question? Finally he said, "Yeah, I think so."

"Well, if you look that tired, you must have had an interesting time." Hudson said lightly.

Absurdly Lucas felt sweat breaking out on his forehead. He forced a smile, and with brazenness born of adrenaline and fear, he said, "Yeah. For a while there I thought I wouldn't make it back in one piece."

Hudson looked up from his book, but Lucas was already gone.

Lucas Wolenczak startled the orderly on duty when he entered the medical bay. Lieutenant Murray was a plumpish woman of thirty-five or forty with a perpetually flustered look and unruly dark brown curls. She had been poised over her microscope when Lucas said softly, "Excuse me?"

Murray jumped, her glasses going askew.

"Sorry, sorry," Lucas said. "Uhm, I'm looking for Doctor Perry. Is she in?"

"Oh, no, and it's no trouble, I just get so absorbed..." Murray laughed nervously. "But no, she's not here. Is there something that I can do for you, Ensign?"

"Yes, actually, there is." Lucas was careful to keep his left hand hidden. It hardly seemed to matter, though, focused as Murray was on her work. "The Doctor wanted me to take a look at some bacteria samples."

"Oh, certainly, certainly. Let me check the lab."

"Thanks."

Murray hurried off to the lab. Her search lasted several minutes, and when she came back, Lucas was gone. "Ensign?" she called out. Then she shrugged, deciding that he'd probably grown impatient or had gone to answer a page.

Murray turned back to her research. She didn't notice until hours later that one of the drug cabinets was ajar and a vial and syringe were missing.

Lucas Wolenczak was a rolling stone. He told himself that as long as he didn't stop to think, he could get through this. He could. As long as he didn't think about it…

He let his mind go somewhere else as he pounded on Tim O'Neill's door.

O'Neill answered the knock in his boxers and a white T-shirt, hair mussed from sleep. He squinted at his late-night visitor. "Lucas?"

"Sorry to wake you up. Captain Hudson sent me. He said to have you show me the data from Donner 47."

"Right now?"

"Yeah," Lucas gave a pained smile, "When the Captain wants something done, he wants it done ten minutes ago."

Tim stood aside and waved Lucas into his quarters. "The code is layered. It's a nice piece of work. No letters or characters in it, just whole numbers. I don't think its encoded information. It looks more like commands that you'd give a computer. Have a look."

The area around O'Neill's personal workspace was stacked with code manuals and disks. Lucas sat down in the lieutenant's chair and opened up the file.

"What happened to your hand, Lucas?" O'Neill asked in a shocked voice.

Lucas' left hand was next to the keyboard, too painful to type with but not worth the effort to hide any more.

"Accident," Lucas mumbled.

"Do you want me to call the med bay?"

"No. It's okay, Tim. Don't worry about it."

"Lucas, you're bleeding," Tim pointed out.

Was he? Huh.

"Lucas, I think you're in shock," Tim said anxiously.

Lucas continued to stare at the scrolling lines of code as they crawled across the screen like little binary worms. O'Neill's reflection in the computer screen was pale with panic.

"I'm not in shock. It's okay, Tim. Don't worry about it." Lucas assured him.

"Lucas, your fingers are _gone_."

"I know, Tim." Lucas never looked away from his work. He highlighted a section of code, then superimposed it over another section. Lucas pulled a blank disk from a stack on O'Neill's desk and inserted it into the drive. He keyed in a command.

Tim paused and his eyes began to dart back and forth between Lucas and the screen, "Lucas, what are you doing?"

"Making a copy." He'd lost the original along with his fingers.

"Why?"

Lucas didn't answer. Instead he pulled the disk out of the drive, then pressed a series of command buttons. The screen turned blue.

"That's…what the hell are you doing?" Tim said in a panicked voice.

"Wiping the hard drive." Lucas reached for his right pocket. "I'm sorry, Tim."

Tim reacted much more quickly than Lucas had anticipated. He grabbed Lucas' right hand before he could get into his pocket. Lucas grabbed Tim with his bad hand and they both went to the deck, Tim landing on top of Lucas with a loud grunt.

Tim outweighed Lucas. Not by much, but his superior size would make all the difference if he could get Lucas in a pin and hold him. Linguist or not, Tim was Navy-trained.

Lucas struggled, desperation keeping him one step ahead of Tim. Tim would get one arm trapped and Lucas would find a way to wiggle the other free. In the end one thing made the difference: Tim wasn't willing to hurt Lucas. He loosened his grip when Lucas stopped struggling. As soon as he felt Tim relenting, Lucas kneed him in the stomach and rolled out from under him. While Tim was struggling to get his breath back, Lucas pulled out the syringe that he'd stolen from the medical bay and jabbed his friend in the neck with it.

It took a moment before O'Neill was fully incapacitated. While the sedative worked, Lucas held his good hand over O'Neill's mouth. He knew that he'd be lucky if no one had heard the struggle, so he didn't waste time by tying O'Neill up or moving him from the floor.

His hand was in bad shape. Blood had soaked through the bandage and was dripping down Lucas's arm. The struggle with O'Neill had reopened the wound, and Lucas didn't have time to do anything about it. He found a towel with O'Neill's shaving kit and wrapped his hand, hoping to at least cover the blood.

Lucas punched up the final command, turned out the lights, and left as quietly as he could.

The computer scrolled through its basic sub-routines, erasing them one by one until the last line of code disappeared, leaving only a cursor blinking in the dark cabin.

"Go back to sleep, Tony. It's just me." Lucas told his bunkmate.

Tony Piccolo was propped up on his elbows, blinking sleep-crusted eyes at the narrow band of light coming from the corridor. Lucas was silhouetted in the doorway.

When Tony heard Lucas's voice he flopped down onto his bunk face-first, one arm draped over the side of the mattress and the other wrapped around his pillow. "Hey, Lucas. How was it?" Tony asked groggily.

"How was what?" Lucas asked, seating himself at his private workstation. He didn't turn on the desk lamp, but let the dim glow of the screen light the room.

"Leave, vacation, whatever you want to call it. D'jya meet any girls?"

"A few."

"Any action?"

"Not that kind. We talked for a while."

"That so?" Tony asked into his pillow.

"Yeah. I walked around, looked at their data stores. Read some computer texts."

"Uh huh." Tony yawned.

"Yeah, and the colony had this really impressive collection of purple pterodactyls." Lucas told him dryly, as if he were talking about his laundry.

"Yeah?" Tony asked, smacking his lips.

"Uh huh. Miniature ones, just big enough to sit on your shoulder. Little pink dots on their wings. They could sing, too, but they'd only do that after a shot of tequila"

"Hmmm." Tony responded, oblivious.

"The colonists were going to let me have one, but I knew Hudson wouldn't let me keep a dolphin and a pterodactyl both."

Tony didn't reply. The only sounds in the small cabin were the gentle hum of Lucas's computer and Tony's soft snoring.

Lucas sighed. His hand hurt. He felt light-headed, but he was nearly done. He whispered, "I also broke into a secured area and transmitted a massive amount of code to the enemy. Well, tried to, but I got interrupted." Lucas surprised himself by having to pause before completing his confession to his unconscious roommate. "A guard saw me and I tried to escape. Then I had a little accident…. Tony?"

Tony Piccolo didn't stir.

"I attacked Tim…" Lucas's voice failed him. Don't think about it. Don't think. "Shit…Tony…I don't know if I'm going to make it through this." He wiped at his face, hoping that it would make what he was doing less real, or make him feel more real and less numb. "I didn't think it would go this far…."

Lucas laughed at the absurdity of the situation: Confessing his crimes to his dead-to-the-world roommate. Oh God, and he didn't feel so well… Lucas laid his head down next to his computer station to stop the room from spinning.

He opened his eyes five hours later.

Lucas shot to his feet in a panic. His whole body was stiff and sore and tired. The bandage on his hand was crusted with blood, both dried and fresh. He backed away from his computer console and almost tripped on his chair, shaking. Tony was still fast asleep.

It was okay. He could still do this. He gave himself about an hour or two before Tim regained consciousness. Even when he did, Tim might not remember, and Lucas had wiped the hard drive so that no one would know exactly what he'd done.

While Lucas completed his download, he re-wrapped his hand to hide his missing fingers and tried his best to smooth his hair into place. He even changed his uniform shirt, though he had to grit his teeth to do it. When he was done he tucked the small black computer disk from Tim's quarters into his pocket. It contained the codes stolen from Tim's computer as well as an updated version of the program he'd used on the Donner 47 colony, adapted for seaQuest's systems.

The early morning shift was just beginning. Lucas had one more stop to make.

Commander Ford was on duty when Lucas stepped onto the bridge. Ford was occupied and Lucas didn't bother with a greeting. He slid quietly into his post, which was usually vacant during the early shift.

Lucas inserted the disk and began uploading the program into the ship's data stores. And…that was it. Now all that was left was to wait.

He hadn't counted on Lonnie Henderson. Lucas loved Lonnie to death. She was sweet. She was always concerned for the welfare of others. She always did the best that she could, and when she couldn't, she always blamed herself.

"Lucas, what happened to your hand?" She asked with quiet concern, leaning over his station.

He kept his eyes on the console, hoping that the bandage was thick enough that she couldn't tell that his fingers were missing and not just taped. The new bandage was still crisp and white; not a spot of blood on it. "Just a little accident on the station," he said. "I've got an appointment with Doctor Perry first thing tomorrow morning." He gave her a small smile. "Well, this morning."

"Sure, okay." She didn't return his smile, and she didn't look like it was okay.

"I'm just up here doing a project for the Captain."

"Right. You let me know if you need anything, okay? You look a little pale."

"Yeah, sure thing." Lucas assured her.

Lonnie walked away and resumed her station. Lucas was nearly done with the download when he overheard Commander Ford relaying a message to the Captain on the intercom. "Sir, the colony reports that the perpetrator was most likely a Caucasian male."

"_How do they know that? The last time I talked to them they said they didn't have any photographic evidence_," the captain's voice responded.

"Apparently he left behind two of his fingers at the scene. They were caught in the oxygen unit's machinery."

"_Charming. Can they DNA test_?"

"No, they'll have to send the fingers to us for identification."

"_Let me know the results, Commander._"

"Aye, sir. Ford out."

Lucas didn't want to look up. He swore that he didn't, but some part of him ignored that, and stared across the bridge at Lonnie Henderson.

She was looking straight at him. Then something caught her eye on her console.

"Commander!" she called to Ford.

"What is it, Lieutenant?"

"Sir, we're transmitting," she said urgently.

"What?" Ford said, incredulous. "We're supposed to be in communications blackout this close to the Chaodai border. The communication system is locked down."

Ford leaned over her console.

"Well, someone must have overridden the system, because we're doing it."

"What the hell are we transmitting?"

"I can't tell. It's some sort of code…" Lonnie frowned as if she couldn't believe what her console was telling her. "Commander, the transmission is being bounced back at us."

"From where?"

"All around us." Lonnie pointed to several lights on her screen.

"There's nothing there but rocks and sand."

"Well, then those rocks send and receive transmissions."

"Shit." Ford said. "Is there any way we can shut the transmission down?"

"Trying, sir…"

A voice came over the intercom. "_Security to Commander Ford._"

"Ford here."

"_Commander, this is Lieutenant Jackson with security. We have a man down in crew quarters. It's Lieutenant O'Neill, sir._"

Lonnie's eyes widened. There was an instant of stunned silence before Ford said, "Is he alive?"

"_Yes. He has a puncture wound to the neck, so he was most likely drugged. There are no other signs of injuries. I've already contacted the med bay._"

"Thank you, Jackson. Is there any sign of forced entry?"

"_No, sir. And I can't be sure, but nothing appears to be missing from the lieutenant's quarters._"

"Anything to indicate who did it and why?" 

"_Not that I can see, Commander. But there's a significant amount of blood on O'Neill's clothing and in the corridor. It doesn't appear to be the lieutenant's._"

"Have security search every deck. If your subject is injured, he'll turn up somewhere."

"_On it, sir,_" Jackson replied.

"Ford out," the Commander cut the transmission and then stabbed a finger at a com panel at Lonnie's station. His voice came over the ship-wide intercom. "All hands, intruder alert. Return to your stations immediately. Captain to the bridge."

Ford turned his attention back to Lonnie's station. "How do we cut the transmission?"

"We need to find the source of the override."

"Well, where is it?"

"Tracking…"

Lucas could see something flashing on Lonnie's screen. Carefully, because his hand was shaking, Lucas pulled the disk out of his console.

When Lucas looked up, both Lonnie and Commander Ford were looking at him. Ford looked puzzled and Lonnie was shaking her head in disbelief.

Very slowly Lucas set the disk down, then reached up and removed his headset with both hands.

Except for the sound of the intruder alert, the bridge was very quiet.

"Transmission has ceased, Commander," Lonnie said into the silence.

It was done. He was done, and whatever force had been driving him for the last two days evaporated. Lucas felt himself stand up. He heard a crash as he dropped the headset and it missed the console. It sounded far away. The bridge had taken on a watery dreamlike quality, and he was swimming through it. Lucas was halfway to the mag-lev when he heard Commander Ford say, "Lucas…" He kept moving. "Ensign Wolenczak!"

Dagwood was mopping in the corridor; his mottled head bent to his task. He looked up at Lucas with innocent brown eyes and a small smile. "I think the commander is talking to you, Lucas," the Dagger pointed out helpfully.

"Dagwood, stop him," Commander Ford said.

The Dagger frowned, puzzled, but leaned his mop carefully against a wall and positioned himself between Lucas at the mag-lev doors, with a hand on Lucas's chest.

"Lucas is hurt," Dagwood said, looking at Lucas's bandaged hand.

"Please let me go, Dagwood," Lucas heard himself say. It didn't even sound like his voice.

A hand clamped down firmly on Lucas's shoulder and it was too much for his ragged nerves to take. What happened next was a wash of color and sound. Lucas himself had no memory of a struggle, but years later his friends would tell him that he fought like a man gone insane. When he came back to himself a few moments later, gasping and pinned to a bulkhead, Commander Ford had a bloody nose and Lonnie was lying on her side on the deck.

Someone shouted, "Get his hand! Somebody get his hand!" And it occurred to him that the bandage had come off and he was bleeding as he tried to pull away.

"Lucas, stop! Stop! Look at me!" He found himself face-to-face with Commander Ford. "Lucas, what did you do?"

Lucas slowly relaxed until he found his breath and his rationality. "Chaodai…signature."

"What the hell does that mean?"

"Check your readings…" his eyes were beginning to lose focus. "Every signal that the seaQuest received back has a Chaodai signature."

Ford gave him a dark look, then turned to Lonnie, who was picking herself up, but appeared unhurt. "Henderson?" he asked.

"On it…" She rushed to her station, and when she looked up from her console, she was nodding. "He's right, Commander."

"Ensign, you've got some explaining to do," Commander Ford told him.

"I'd say so," a new voice said. Ford moved out of the way and Hudson stepped into Lucas's line of sight.

"Let him go, Dagwood." Hudson said. Then it was suddenly easier to breathe and Lucas was sagging against the bulkhead, the bridge spinning around him…

The next thing he knew he was lying on the deck with his legs and his left arm elevated. Rough fingers peeled back his eyelids. "Keep them open, Ensign. That's an order."

"Yes, sir," Lucas replied automatically, or tried to. His throat was dry and he was very cold. Ford and Hudson were leaning over him. Then Ford was gone and someone was gripping his jaw hard. "Stay awake, Ensign!" Hudson told him firmly. "Talk to me."

"I sent the transmission." Lucas confessed.

"I know that, Ensign. Why?"

"McGrath…wouldn't listen."

"The Secretary General? How does he fit into this?"

It took Lucas a moment to gather his thoughts. When he didn't reply right away, Hudson slapped his cheek.

"I found trace patterns…static…in messages that were received from outposts near the Chaodai border," Lucas said. "The kind you only get if the signal is being picked up by other receivers in the area."

"Encrypted messages. You were opening other peoples' mail."

"I tried to tell the Secretary General my theory."

"Because you'd already performed an illegal act. You went over my head," Hudson surmised. His voice rumbled like a volcano.

"He didn't listen."

"Then you should have taken your case to me, Ensign."

"…didn't want to get you involved. Thought I could take care of it alone…"Lucas trailed off.

He must have started to doze, because the next thing he knew Hudson was slapping him on the cheek, "Hey, I gave you an order, soldier."

"Sorry."

"Don't be sorry, be awake."

"Y'sir," Lucas said. The he looked at his hand. Hudson was holding it up for him, the captain's thick, callused fingers pinching the veins in Lucas's wrist closed. The stumps of his missing fingers looked horribly real under the fluorescent lights. Lucas hadn't really _looked_ at them until now.

"Hurts," Lucas complained.

"Good," Hudson replied. "That means you're still alive."

Lucas heard Commander Ford's voice, "Sir, we're out of the Chaodai's range. We should be clear to send transmissions now."

"Good, get me Secretary General McGrath."

"Sir, he's hailing us."

"I'll take it in the Ward room." But the captain didn't move from Lucas's side. "We're going to have a long discussion about this, Ensign. I'm dying to know what's going on inside that head of yours."

"I made a mistake," Lucas said, almost in a whisper. He swallowed. It was hard to speak. "My hand-"

"Ensign…" Hudson began. Then he looked Lucas in the eyes and appeared to realize that although he was talking to Lucas Wolenczak, Stanford graduate and UEO Officer, he was also talking to Lucas Wolenczak, injured and frightened nineteen-year-old. "Lucas, let me deal with this now. Don't worry about your hand. There's nothing you can do. You're going to be fine. Understood, Ensign?"

"Yes, sir," Lucas said.

The captain stood and gave him a firm nod. Lonnie took his place, holding pressure on Lucas's injured hand. She tried to give him a reassuring smile, but there was no comfort for him there. She couldn't fix what was wrong. "You'll be okay," she promised him.

Dagwood mimicked her smile. "Lucas will be okay. The captain says so."

_No. I won't,_ he wanted to tell them.

A medical team arrived soon after the captain left. They started an IV, and Lucas gritted his teeth as they loaded him onto a stretcher. He could see at least two security officers standing by as the medics worked. Lonnie, Dagwood and Ford faded into the background like strangers disappearing into a crowd. Lucas thought he even heard Tony's voice calling his name, but he might have imagined it.

He remembered the stretcher lifting him up off of the deck. He remembered the ceiling lights moving above him in a blur, but he didn't remember reaching the medical bay, or Doctor Perry leaning over him, silhouetted by a surgical lamp, telling him that she may have to remove his left hand.

Lucas Wolenczak was awake before he opened his eyes. He immediately began cataloguing his surroundings: the familiar, comforting sounds of the ship around him, the rhythmic beep of a heart monitor, the firm surface under his back, the dim lighting of the space that barely filtered through his eyelids. For a few moments he lay still, breathed, and listened.

Slowly he opened his eyes. He could see the gray ceiling and hanging lights of the medical bay. He felt the IV in his right arm. It itched, but he quickly found that there wasn't anything he could do about it. If he raised his head he could see the thick gray restraints on his arms and legs. His left hand no longer hurt, and he had to stare at it for several seconds before his eyes could focus, and several more before his hazy mind registered that it was still there.

He heard the rustling sound of fabric and Doctor Perry moved into view. Her face was a mask of blank professionalism.

"How are you feeling?" she asked.

A low groan was all he could manage.

Perry slipped a blood pressure cuff around Lucas's upper right arm. "Any pain, nausea or dizziness?"

"I can't feel my hand," Lucas told her in a sticky voice. His head was beginning to clear. He found himself able to grasp simple concepts.

"Your shouldn't for a while. I gave you a local anesthetic. We had to remove the remains of the two knuckles, but the nerve damage wasn't as bad as I first thought. There were signs of infection, but the surgery took care of the necrotic tissue. Antibiotics will clear up the rest."

"I'll keep my hand?"

"If there aren't any further complications, then, yes, you'll keep your hand."

Lucas felt ill; probably because of whatever anesthetic they'd given him. He was sweating, itchy and uncomfortable. He felt as if his skin were crawling, and being unable to move just made the feeling worse. "Doctor, take the restraints off, please."

"Do you remember why you're here, Ensign? What happened on the bridge?" Perry asked.

"Yes."

"Then you know I can't undo the restraints."

"You can put me in the brig if you want, just take the restraints off." Despite his best efforts, a note of desperation crept into his voice.

Perry shook her head. "You're not stable enough to be moved yet, Ensign. The restraints stay, Lucas, Captain's orders. I'm sorry."

Lucas looked away and kept silent as Doctor Perry finished taking his blood pressure.

"Lucas, there was a dose of hydrocodone missing from your shuttle's emergency medical kit. Have you taken any other drugs in the past twenty-four hours?"

"No, no other drugs." In actuality he'd only taken half a dose of hydrocodone, unsure as to what effect the drug would have on his mental faculties.

Perry moved out of view. Lucas heard a drawer open and shut. When the Doctor came back, she was filling a syringe. He smelled alcohol as she wiped his right arm with a swab, then stuck him. Lucas felt better almost immediately, and hated the feeling for what it meant.

Doctor Perry left his side then. Although she was out of sight, Lucas could hear her speaking. Whether it was to a person or an intercom, he didn't know.

Lucas closed his eyes, just intending to rest for a moment. When he opened them, the room was brighter, and Hudson was sitting in a chair by his side. For a moment they regarded one another without speaking. It seemed that the captain was waiting for him to get his bearings.

"Is Tim okay?" Lucas asked finally.

"Aside from injured pride and a few bruises, I'd say he'll be fine," the captain assured him.

"Captain, you can take these restraints off of me now. I'm not going anywhere."

"Well, you're half right, Ensign."

Lucas stared at the ceiling. To his shock, he felt tears of frustration in his eyes.

"So…where should we begin, Mister Wolenczak?"

"I'm under arrest."

"That you are," Hudson replied. "Do you want to know under what section and paragraph, or have you already figured that part out?"

"We can skip it. I think I already know."

"No doubt you do," Hudson said. "Now, I've been on the horn with Secretary General McGrath for the past two hours. I'm sure that I have most of the story down, but there are a few blanks that I want you to fill in for me."

Lucas turned his head enough to see the rest of the medical bay. Hudson was alone.

"Shouldn't there be a witness?" Lucas observed.

"Are we going to need one?"

Lucas didn't have to consider long. "No, we're not."

"I thought not. Now, I have a few choice bits of advice for you, Ensign. But before I say my piece I want you to explain what was so important that you felt it was necessary to subvert my command and go on a dangerous solo mission behind my back."

"It wasn't supposed to be dangerous." Lucas said. "I was going to bounce a transmission off of the listening posts, just to see if they were there. I was going to be in and out. No one would ever know."

"Except…" Hudson prompted.

"Except…" Lucas put himself back on the Donner 47 colony. "I was about halfway through with the transmission and then," Lucas looked at the ceiling, an ironic smile on his face, remembering, "this poor guard...God, he must have been lost. There I was, at the communications array and he comes up behind me. He looked just as surprised as I was. We probably stared at each other for a good ten seconds before he suddenly remembers his job description. Then he reaches for his radio…and I…well, I push him. Then I'm out the door, and I've memorized the layout of the place, so I know that there's a room connected to the array and it's my best chance for an escape."

"The oxygen pressurization room," Hudson guessed.

Lucas nodded. "I tripped. It was so stupid. . There wasn't anything on the floor. I tripped on my own bootlace, and when I put my hand down, it was on one of the unit's gears." Lucas was surprised that he could talk about this. He felt detached, as if he were talking about somebody else. "It didn't tear the fingers off, it just…crushed them. I couldn't feel it. Maybe I panicked. Maybe it was the adrenaline, but the next thing I knew I was free and holding my jacket over the…spot…where my fingers used to be."

Lucas bit his lip. Hudson sat quietly, waiting for Lucas to continue.

"I patched it myself, but the emergency kit on the shuttle wasn't exactly equipped to deal with that type of injury. When I was done, I thought, 'I can cut my losses and give up, or I can finish what I've started.'

"Going back to the colony's communication array wasn't an option. It was locked down, and I'd lost the disk with the code somewhere between point A and point Z, so the only way to finish the job was to return to seaQuest and use our equipment. I knew that seaQuest's sensors would have picked up at least part of the code that I'd already transmitted. With the ship's equipment, I knew it would be enough, and I knew if I waited, the choice would be taken out of my hands.

"Yes, two missing fingers would have been tough to explain, especially after the colonists sent them to us," Hudson said frankly.

"I figured that I might as well go down trying to finish what I'd started."

"Never let it be said that you did things halfway, Ensign."

"I was right, though."

"About the Chaodai listening posts in UEO waters? Yes, you were," Hudson confessed. "After you sent that transmission, the board lit up like a Christmas tree. Every Chaodai repeater in a hundred leagues started broadcasting our location. Everything you tried to tell Secretary General McGrath was correct."

There was something dark and deathly serious in the captain's voice. It gave Lucas a sinking feeling. "What?"

"Sometimes you're too smart for your own good." Hudson explained, "Ensign, the UEO already knew about the listening posts. They've known for months. McGrath has been in intense negotiations with the Chaodai, trying to hammer out a treaty. It took him a long time to open the lines of communication. Part of the UEO's tentative arrangement with the Chaodai was that we would stay clear of their borders. To make sure that we complied, the Chaodai had listening posts placed outside of their borders…with the UEO's sanction."

Hudson gave the words a chance to sink in before he continued. "The seaQuest was on silent running near the border so that we could conduct reconnaissance without jeopardizing the peace process. I wasn't aware of the talks until your actions forced me into the loop. Secretary-General McGrath told me this morning. Of course, by then it was too late. You gave away our position when you sent your transmission."

"Oh God…"Lucas said slowly. "I started a war…"

"At the very least you cost us our mission." The Captain was calm and emotionless, a block of ice. "McGrath said that when you brought your case to him, he _ordered_ you not to pursue it any further. Not 'advised', _ordered_. McGrath is furious and the rest of the UEO ambassadors are in a panic. Apparently there are also several UEO delegates who were in Chaodai territory yesterday, who haven't been heard from since this happened.

The next twenty-four hours are going to be a real ride for all of us…But not for you. You're done."

Lucas was left speechless and sick. When he found his voice, he said, "No…there has to be something I can do. Let me talk to the Secretary General-"

"He won't speak to you, Ensign. He made that very clear. And he's got his hands full now."

"Captain, I-"

"Mister Wolenczak," the captain raised his voice dangerously to get the ensign's attention. "Perhaps I didn't make myself clear: You're out of the picture. For you, the situation with the Chaodai is over with. Is that clear?"

Lucas choked out the words, "Yes, Captain."

Hudson continued more calmly, "You knew you'd be caught. When you were, you thought that it would be worth it. Let me guess: you thought that the UEO would see that you were right and they'd let you off the hook: extenuating circumstances and all of that. You thought you'd be a hero."

"No…"

"But you thought you were right."

"Yes," Lucas said in a stunned whisper.

"And you thought that McGrath and the rest of the UEO were too blind to see it. You thought that it was your duty to bring it to their attention, even if it meant going behind your superiors' backs."

God, it was all true. What the hell could he say? "I thought…I just thought I was doing the right thing."

Lucas wasn't sure he'd spoken out loud until the captain said, "That's the problem with being a genius, isn't it? You're smarter than your superiors are. But just because you're smarter, it doesn't mean you know more. Your actions destroyed a very fragile peace with the Chaodai. If we're very lucky, that will be all that you've cost us. If not, relations with the Chaodai will get very ugly, very quickly."

"There has to be something I can do…"

Hudson shook his head. "Not this time, Ensign. We all take risks. I've done my fair share of acting on my own initiatives, and I've paid dearly for some of them. I've paid with the lives of friends and comrades. I've been demoted, tossed in the brig, captured and shot. My disciplinary action file is so thick that it should have chapters." Hudson paused and then said somberly, "And if it had been me who pulled this stunt instead of you, I might have made it through with my commission intact. When you've been around as long as I have, you can take a few hits without sinking.

"I'm sorry, Lucas, but the halo effect won't work this time. It doesn't matter what you've done for the UEO in the past. Genius or not, this is going to cost you a lot more than a couple of fingers."

Lucas didn't have to guess. "My career," he said.

"For a start." Hudson told him.

Lucas went very still. He couldn't think. He'd wagered it all: his career, his health, his friends, his commission, and his freedom. He'd gone all in, just to prove that he was right and the UEO was wrong…and the house had won. It had all been for nothing and it had cost him everything.

Some time passed before Lucas said, "Tell me what happens now."

"You know what happens now, Lucas."

"It think I need to hear it anyway, Sir."

Although Lucas was staring at the ceiling, he could sense Hudson's eyes on him.

"Please, Captain."

Hudson didn't pull any punches. "You'll spend the next four hours here, recovering from surgery. Once the doctor has released you, a shuttle is waiting to take you to a UEO base off of New Malta. You'll be held there until your case goes to trial. If you're found guilty, which will most likely be the case, you will be dishonorably discharged and sent to military prison. I'm not certain for how long, but I can assure you that it won't be a short sentence. The UEO doesn't execute traitors, but it's also not known for taking the offense lightly…or giving time off for good behavior. I will request that you serve your sentence aboard the seaQuest, but my request will be denied outright. You constitute too great of a security risk."

Lucas nodded. He felt like he'd felt when he realized his fingers were gone. He couldn't go back and undo the damage, couldn't put his fingers back on his hand. He could only live with what he'd done. It was the same now.

"I never did picture you as a military man, Lucas," Hudson told him. "You surprised me when you asked for a commission, but I was glad to have you here. More than anything, I'll regret losing the best Science Officer in the fleet."

"Thank you, Sir," Lucas said.

Then Hudson surprised him by saying, "And if this were still Bridger's boat, he could probably tell you something that would make this all seem more bearable. But you're not on Bridger's boat. You're on mine, and there's nothing I can say that will make anything better. What I can tell you is this: Without a doubt, you're about to face one of the darkest times in your life. But remember this: your life isn't over."

Lucas let out a sharp bark of laughter. "Would it be so terrible to wish that it was?" he asked Hudson.

"Yes."

Lucas squeezed his eyes shut. When he opened them, Hudson was gone, and Lucas was very much alone.

_Epilogue:_

They let him say goodbye to Darwin. Lucas was grateful for that much, even with the painkillers that made him groggy and disoriented, and even with the two UEO security officers standing at his elbow.

Lucas couldn't make the dolphin understand "prison" or "court-martial". Darwin had no concept of crime, of right and wrong. In the end Lucas settled for making his friend understand that he was going away for a long time.

Darwin insisted that Lucas would return. Bridger had come back to seaQuest and so Lucas would too. It was dolphin logic. Lucas tried to make him understand that that might not be the case, and failed miserably. Darwin cheerfully insisted that he and Lucas would see each other again.

It was that small but bright spark of optimism that Lucas took to his trial, where he caught glimpses of his friends in the courtroom: Tony in a suit and Lonnie in tears, Commander Ford, stiff as a corpse as they handed down the verdict. Hudson was true to his word and requested that Lucas serve out his sentence aboard the seaQuest. And true to his word, the judge denied the captain's request outright.

Lucas couldn't hug Lonnie goodbye with his hands in restraints, but he could shake Commander Ford's hand as the bailiff led him out of the courtroom, and he could feel Dagwood's hand landing heavily, almost painfully on his shoulder as he passed by the dagger.

Lucas Wolenczak took those things: Lonnie's tears, Ford's friendship, and the sadness in Tony's and Dagwood's eyes and locked them away inside of himself, along with Darwin's words, in a place where no one could take them away. Lucas carried those things with him to prison, and for the next eight years, they kept him alive.

End of "The Halo Effect"

"Why is it so dark?" 

"_In the beginning, it is always dark."_

Bastian and the Childlike Empress, The NeverEnding Story


End file.
